should i write about anything i fear or strange experiences i am having perpetuate my lifestyle is this my problem? do i speak to the victim and the judge too much do i really understand who i am? will i be alone will i be happy whatever will be will be the future is not ours to see i people watches in brooklyn this weekend i watched as polished well washed hippy bohemian dressed people walk around on a sunday i want to live a life that is totally organized and in motion towards some greater goal i need money but i need a spiritual goal or focus too now is the time at thirty years old to finally grow up and take responsibility for my life since i have created everything thus far i realize my actions and choices have a huge impact that i had no frame for reference before. i am getting older and it is not a terrible thing i realize i have to take care of my heath and self now since no one but me can do that i know newsflash but hopefully i will learn from my twenties full of blundering mistakes and have a thirties of wise serenity lord knows i need all the help i can get with peace of mind i got to burning man in 40 days not a lot of time to get ready but this year will be unlike any other year burning man forever changed my life especially the latest chapter of my life saga i met this man because i went to burning man and he completely crushed me i never got a call asking if i was ok i never even got to say goodbye i face a new challenge this year part of me died this year and hopefully when i go i can finally put her to rest and let it all go i feel the pull of life and hope for a swift recovery i hope i get better | 